Negotiating to Win – 10 Tips for Improving Your Negotiating Skills
Oct. 26 2010 - 2:15 pm | 659 views | 1 recommendation | 2 comments
Posted by Lisa Quast
In today’s business world, being a good negotiator can make a big difference in your career. Not only can it help you in your career, such as earning more money (by negotiating a raise), earning a higher title (by negotiating a promotion), or obtaining budget money (to take on a prominent project), but it can also help you in your personal life…such as agreeing on bedtimes with the kids or what show to watch on the television with your husband. How good of a negotiator are you??
No matter what the topic for discussion, successfully negotiating to achieve your goals requires thought and practice. I’ve seen women go from being terrified of negotiating to loving it. How? They changed their approach and started thinking about negotiating as 1) a simple process to follow; 2) a thoughtful interaction with other people; and 3) a way to determine even better solutions.
Try my following ten tips and see if they help you improve your negotiating skills:
1. Do your homework: Research the topic and think through your options before you hold the discussion.
2. See the situation from all angles: Try to understand where the other person is coming from; try asking them to tell you about their needs and key concerns.
3. Clearly define your goals: Prior to the discussion, make sure you’re clear on not only what you want, but your “walk-away” point (the minimum outcome you’re willing to accept).
4. Determine the best timing for the discussion: You’ll want enough time for the discussion and to hold it when all parties are relaxed and not emotional.
5. Remain calm and avoid getting emotional: The more emotional you become, the more clouded your thinking will become.
6. Listen, listen, and listen some more: Spend more time listening than talking.
7. Ask for what you want: Don’t be afraid to explain your needs and what you’d like to see occur as an outcome, but do so calmly and in a non-confrontational tone of voice.
8. Avoid finger-pointing: Focus on the issues, not on personalities.
9. Find a creative solution: Think win/win, not that someone must walk away a winner and the other a loser. There’s nothing wrong with working together to determine creative ways that the needs of both parties can be met.
10. Remember that there will always be a tomorrow: If the discussions head in a wrong direction and tempers flare, it’s okay to recommend picking up the discussion on another day once everyone has an opportunity to take a step back, relax, and think.
Let me know how these tips worked for you, or, if you have other tips women can use to improve their skills at negotiating then please share them in the “Comments” section.
~ Lisa Quast
MY THOUGHTS
in negotiations, the best strategy is habit 5 of the 7 habits. "seek first to understand, then to be understood". in other words, shut up first. listen with all your senses. and your heart. listening first helps you to understand what you're up against. in most cases, people appreciates being listened to. which means that the other party will be more open to you since you gave him/her the floor first.
Showing posts with label developing commujnication skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label developing commujnication skills. Show all posts
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, August 29, 2009
developing communication skills - eye contact
Developing Good Eye Contact
By Arlin Cuncic, About.com
Updated: January 25, 2009
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board
Eye contact is an important aspect of social interaction, and it is something that many shy and socially anxious people have difficulty with. Often people with social anxiety describe looking someone in the eyes as anxiety-provoking and uncomfortable. This is likely due, in part, to genetic wiring -- studies have shown that people diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (SAD) have a stronger fear response than others. If you have SAD, the part of your brain that warns you of danger can be set off by something as simple as the gaze of a stranger.
Fortunately, with proper treatment including cognitive-behavioral therapy and/or medication, most people with SAD can learn to overcome this fear response and maintain better eye contact -- a key aspect of effective communication with others.
Communications expert Robert Graham offers training in delivering presentations, and one of his tips for good eye contact can be translated into conversational settings when speaking to more than one person:
When speaking to a group of people, instead of thinking of the group as a whole, imagine that you are having individual conversations with one person in the group at a time.
As you speak, choose one person in the group and pretend that you are talking just with that person. Look at him as you finish your thought or sentence. As you begin a new sentence or idea, choose another person in the group and look her in the eye as you finish your thought. Make sure that you eventually include everyone in the group.
What if looking someone in the eye is still too difficult? Choose a spot directly between or slightly above the listener’s eyes. If this doesn’t feel comfortable, try letting your eyes go slightly out of focus. This has the added benefit of softening and relaxing your gaze. Staring too intensely will turn people off and make them uncomfortable.
By employing some of these strategies for good eye contact, you will make your listeners feel more connected and increase the likelihood that you will feel more comfortable when speaking to a group of people.
MY THOUGHTS
Speaking to someone who doesn't look you in the eye can be uncomfortable, even disturbing. Knowing how to make eye contact should be part of anybody's attempt in developing communication skills. When we make eye contact, we establish a connection, we show we care about the conversation, that the other person has our attention. To me, this shows respect. If we cannot show respect to the person we're talking to, then we are in serious need of developing our communication skills.
By Arlin Cuncic, About.com
Updated: January 25, 2009
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board
Eye contact is an important aspect of social interaction, and it is something that many shy and socially anxious people have difficulty with. Often people with social anxiety describe looking someone in the eyes as anxiety-provoking and uncomfortable. This is likely due, in part, to genetic wiring -- studies have shown that people diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (SAD) have a stronger fear response than others. If you have SAD, the part of your brain that warns you of danger can be set off by something as simple as the gaze of a stranger.
Fortunately, with proper treatment including cognitive-behavioral therapy and/or medication, most people with SAD can learn to overcome this fear response and maintain better eye contact -- a key aspect of effective communication with others.
Communications expert Robert Graham offers training in delivering presentations, and one of his tips for good eye contact can be translated into conversational settings when speaking to more than one person:
When speaking to a group of people, instead of thinking of the group as a whole, imagine that you are having individual conversations with one person in the group at a time.
As you speak, choose one person in the group and pretend that you are talking just with that person. Look at him as you finish your thought or sentence. As you begin a new sentence or idea, choose another person in the group and look her in the eye as you finish your thought. Make sure that you eventually include everyone in the group.
What if looking someone in the eye is still too difficult? Choose a spot directly between or slightly above the listener’s eyes. If this doesn’t feel comfortable, try letting your eyes go slightly out of focus. This has the added benefit of softening and relaxing your gaze. Staring too intensely will turn people off and make them uncomfortable.
By employing some of these strategies for good eye contact, you will make your listeners feel more connected and increase the likelihood that you will feel more comfortable when speaking to a group of people.
MY THOUGHTS
Speaking to someone who doesn't look you in the eye can be uncomfortable, even disturbing. Knowing how to make eye contact should be part of anybody's attempt in developing communication skills. When we make eye contact, we establish a connection, we show we care about the conversation, that the other person has our attention. To me, this shows respect. If we cannot show respect to the person we're talking to, then we are in serious need of developing our communication skills.
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